Women and Self-Worth

Worth. Self-worth. I have been thinking a lot about that word this week. I had an experience that brought me to my knees this week. I felt no self-worth, less than nothing, and a complete waste of space. It wasn’t other people or circumstances that caused this…it was me. I was stunned that after all these years this could still happen in the blink of an eye. Yet it did. I think I was looking for some insights when I found the following. 

AI tells me that: “Women who don’t realize their worth may struggle with low self-esteem, often stemming from factors like critical upbringings, societal pressure, or negative life events. This can lead to behaviors such as people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, and a tendency to undervalue their own contributions, especially in professional or social settings. Ultimately, a poor sense of self-worth can impact various aspects of life, from relationships to career ambitions.” 

Okay, so I know that, but I still wanted examples of actual women. AI told me this: 

Many accomplished women have publicly shared their experiences with imposter syndrome and self-doubt, indicating a struggle with recognizing their self-worth despite significant achievements. 

Notable examples include:

Maya Angelou: The acclaimed poet and author often admitted to feeling like a fraud, despite having written multiple books. She questioned when others would “find out now” that she had been running “a game on everybody”.

Michelle Obama: The former First Lady has openly discussed persistent feelings of self-doubt, noting that the feeling that others “shouldn’t take me that seriously” never goes away.

Sheryl Sandberg: The former COO of Facebook has written about feeling her success was a fluke and that she had “fooled everyone yet again”.

Natalie Portman: Despite being an accomplished actress and graduate of Harvard, Portman has spoken about feeling inadequate. She recalled feeling like there had been “some mistake” and that she wasn’t smart enough to be at Harvard.

Emma Watson: The actress and activist has described feeling like a fraud, observing that this feeling increases with her success.

Sonia Sotomayor: The Supreme Court Justice has mentioned initial insecurities, which she works to overcome.

Tina Fey: The comedian, writer, and producer has humorously described imposter syndrome as an oscillation between “extreme egomania, and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud!’”.

Edith Wharton: The Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist struggled with self-doubt and felt inferior to her peers.

Lupita Nyong’o: The Oscar-winning actress admitted that winning an Oscar may have exacerbated her imposter syndrome. 

These examples demonstrate that feelings of self-doubt and a lack of self-worth are common experiences, even among highly successful individuals. 

While I admire and am inspired by all of them, I chose one to focus on today. 

We all know that Sonia Sotomayor is an American attorney who serves as an associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. She is the first Hispanic justice and the third woman U.S. Supreme Court justice. 

photo credit: Britanica

Sonia Maria Sotomayor was born on June 25th, 1954, in the Bronx, New York City, and raised Catholic. Her father, Juan Sotomayor, was from Puerto Rico, and her mother, Celina Baez, was an orphan from Puerto Rico. Her parents me, and married during World War II. Celina served in the Women’s Army Corps, then as a telephone operator and a practical nurse. Juan, who spoke little English, worked as a tool and die worker. Sonia’s younger brother, also Juan, became a physician and university professor in Syracuse, New York. 

The family lived in a South Bronx tenement before moving to a well-maintained, racially and ethnically mixed, working-class housing project. The extended family got together frequently and regularly visited Puerto Rico during the summers. Sonia’s father was an alcoholic, and she describes her mother as emotionally distant. She was very close to her grandmother, who she said was a source of “protection and purpose.” At age seven, Sonia was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and needed daily insulin injections. When she was nine, her father passed away. After her father’s death, she became fluent in English as her mother put much effort and energy into Sonia’s education. Celina purchased a set of the Encyclopedia Britannica, which was an unusual thing to find in poor housing projects. While there was a great deal of strain and distance between Sonia and her mother that wasn’t reconciled until many years later, she still credits Celina as her “life inspiration.”

Sonia’s early education was at Blessed Sacrament School, where she had nearly a perfect attendance record and was class valedictorian. She often said that Nancy Drew, with her strong will, inspired her early on, and Perry Mason later inspired her. In 1998, Sonia said: “I was going to college and I was going to become an attorney, and I knew that when I was ten. Ten. That’s no jest.” She attended Princeton University, and she described her time there as life-changing. Initially, she said she felt like “a visitor landing in an alien country” — completely intimidated and fearful of asking questions. There were few female students and only about twenty Latinos. Sonia put in long hours at the library and worked during the summer with a professor outside of class to gain the skills, confidence and knowledge she felt she lacked. 

This was the beginning of Sonia’s work as a student activist. She was co-chair of Action Puertorriquena, an organization that was not only a political and social hub but sought more opportunities for Puerto Rican students. She was aware that Princeton did not have one full-time Latino professor or any classes on Latin American studies. Sonia met with university president William Bowen during her sophomore year, recognizing no results. In an interview with the New York Times she said: “Princeton is following a policy of benign neutrality and is not making substantive efforts to change.” In a subsequent article for the Daily Princetonian, she addressed those issues frequently. She wrote a formal letter of complaint to the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare calling attention to the discriminating in Princeton’s hiring and admission practices. The results of her constant pursuit of equality? The university hired Latino faculty, and Sonia established a comfortable and ongoing dialogue with university president William Bowen. Seminars on Puerto Rican history were initiated. Sonia joined the governance board of the university’s Third World Center and served on the university’s student-faculty Discipline Committee. She also ran an after-school program for local children and volunteered as an interpreter for Latino parents at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital. 

In her senior year, Sonia won the Pyne Prize, which is a highly prestigious award, reflecting strong grades and extracurricular activities. Sonia graduated summa cum laude with an A.B. in history. She said she was greatly influenced by critical race theory, which is evident in her later writing and speeches. In 1976, Sonia began her studies at Yale Law School. She worked hard and became the editor of the Yale Law Journal and managing editor of the student-run Yale Journal of International Law. She was a semifinalist in the Barristers Union mock trial competent and co-chaired a group for Latin, Asian, and Native American students, and continued to advocate for the hiring of more Hispanic faculty. In 1979, Sonia was awarded a Juris Doctor from Yale and admitted to the New York Bar the following year. 

Sonia’s career continues to be illustrious. Her record continues to be impressive. She has received honorary law degrees from Lehman College, Princeton University, Brooklyn Law School, Pace University School of Law, Hofstra University, Northeastern University School of Law, Howard University, St. Lawrence University, Paris Nanterre University, New York University, University of Puerto Rico and an honorary doctorate of human letters from Manhattan University. 

The American Philosophical Society elected Sonia Sotomayor as a member and awarded her the Outstanding Latino Professional award. Esquire magazine included Sonia on its list of “The 75 Most Influential People of the 21st Century and won the Woodrow Wilson Award and Princeton University. 

Clearly, this is a woman who has accomplished much. I have not even touched on her record of notable rulings, of which there are many. They are all public records. I find it very difficult to believe that this woman has self-worth issues…yet she does. The take away for me today is, I am not alone; I need to get over myself and realize I am not more than or less than anyone else, adjust my ego, let go of old and limiting messages, and I need to live my life fully not limited by fear, loathing, and self doubt.